So, got started on my garden! Cleared a lot of my garden out - this was in a real state as the guy who was in the house before me was elderly i think and although its clear he loved his garden - judging by the layout and number of pots and semi-started projects around was unable to keep on top of it in the last few years...Sorted out a few veg patches, cleared a load of "dead wood" out - H has loved helping with that and there's plenty of room for me to set aside quite a large patch for him to call his own...there's still masses to do and i need to figure out what to do with the 2 large piles of debris i've collected - can't burn it cos I'm in a smoke controlled area - so thinking about hiring a shredding/chipping machine rather than cart it off to the tip...H and I have planted a speculative bed of peas and potatoes under cover today and started digging out a second pond we found.
Played badminton again with H today - he's getting good! And seems to be acquiring quite a taste for it! I need to beat him though soon! Cos at the moment he's becoming quite used to "winning!" Its a fine line to draw - I don't want to crush his confidence and enthusiasm but at the same time i need him t deal with the fact that sometimes you come second!
Have not had much contact with my W - pretty utilitarian - in respect of H only. Thats been good for me and now I have the garden under "semi" control and the house in more order + have regular GALing activities for me only rather than trying to "impress" it feels like a kind of acceptance with things - in that I have started to carve out things for me rather than feel like i am in the self imposed h�ll of limbo and wondering all the time.
Note to self though! I still love my W - and think she is the most gorgeous (in all ways) woman I have ever met - I love it that she's still part of my life...and note that its now 2 months since we had anything like a cross word or difficult conversation - in fact anything but - I also note that we're managing to co-parent H incredibly well - he's blossoming and he's a joy to see...
Still that doesn't take away the pain of knowing that the woman I had hoped to see the sunrises and sunsets with is not with me.
