T2-I like how you word things. It gets right to the way you are feeling. Frustrated. All this is so extremely slow and frustrating to me too! I also have to be very careful not to fall into focusing on him and our M. I also think my H is comfortable having his own place. He is too fearful of having history repeat itself by coming home and then leaving again. Not sure what it will take to change his mind about that. They say have low expectaions. Not sure I agree with that. If I always had low expectaions, I would not have the fortitude that it takes daily to stay in this R. You are doing all the right things by thinking of things you can do to get a life. Sounds like your determined,and that's good! Your post helped to remind me not to lose sight of what's important. It's us. You and me, and all of us going through this. We have made a choice to fight for our M's. In doing that, we need to do personally inventory first. If we don't take care of #1, then we can't be effective in other areas. I've got a serious case of the blahs today too after spending the last two evenings with my H. When I talked to him last night and asked him what he was doing today, he had no particular plans, but did not offer the suggestion of us getting together. This made me feel bad, and like I "needed" to see him. I was almost in panic mode last night and this morning trying to figure out how I could see him today. Then I thought. I left the door open for him to call me today. If he wants to he will. If not, I'll find other things to do to take of myself. Simple. This feeling will pass and I can't let him know the urgency I feel. You are going in the right direction by making plans to take care of yourself. That's a win/win sitchuation. It makes you all the more attractive to him I would think, AND your taking care of you. Have at it trying to put those lbs.on! Good luck, Rachael
