"I don't wanna spend my life jaded, waiting...

[theotherhalf]

He either wanted to rendevous with OW and needed to know where I was or he wanted to be with me


R talk.

I knew that, that's why the second time I didn't say a word about my thoughts. You've probably noticed that I am a woman that wears her heart on her sleve. I am very open and honest. Hard to not be someone else.

M: what to torture me



R talk.

Again just being honest.

M: don't, you can call me any time as long as it's not to be mean



R talk.

I don't feel this was R talk. This was me being there for him as a freind, any time

And yes I know I am back and forth, but I think that I am taking more steps forward now days. And I feel the distance between H and I growing. He is staying stuck and I am slowing leaving the sh*t hole we've been stuck in.

and your right. my H spins the worst in the dark, drunk and irrational. That is also when he contacts OW. It doesn't seem to bother him at all to not see me or talk to me during the daylight and sober.

I don't know what to talk to my H about anymore. I don't want to talk R. I don't want to pursue by asking about how he is or what he's doing. I don't want to tell him my stuff again pursueing, want him to ask. I don't want to always just talk about bills and applying pressure. I'm pretty much at a loss for words with him anymore.

Thanks LWB