Maybe I should be in piecing part 6?

[Snow White]

Hi again,

I for the record agree that you should do whatever is best for you. I often tried to follow the board but because it wasn't in me to completly "comply" I would revert half way through and I was a constant flip-flop. At least if you are true to yourself it is consistent.

My only question in my post to you was your motivation. It appears you have a quite detailed explanation for it. We all draw on our personal experiences so I guess that is what I was looking at I constantly wondered(and wondering is worse than knowing)but the simple things like asking my H's parents if he was staying there or not never happened. And they didn't happen because I was afraid to know the answer and afraid to be embarassed in front of them again being played for the fool.

As far as the trip. I agree with going if its something you want to do. Again with me, I found I did a lot of things that I wanted to do, for me,(at least that is how I rationalized it) including ML, golf outings, making big family dinners (remember my h was not at home)and at the time I thought they were for me but when I found out concretely that he was still with OW that whole time each of those things became a bitter pill of resentment and made me feel used. If you remember I went with my H to Disney, our place, the only place we ever vacationed together and he was in contact with IOW the whole time. I am not sure whether I will ever be able to go there again.

As far as the differences on the boards it may be the length of time that you have been in this situation with your W that causes people to take a firmer stance. Or it may be the length of times that you are on these boards and that people are now your friends instead of anonymous posters and we all know how friends and family in real life deal with things when they see thier friends in pain. I would take it as a compliment that people have gotten upset, its because they care about you.