T2~
Just caught up....it sounds like you are having quite a range of emotions and that is normal...you have a lot on your plate right now!

IMHO, the best place to vent about these emotions is here. Do you have a C to talk to? That has helped me some, but also just reflecting on things alone and coming here has helped me tremendously. I went through lots of anger...at myself (the dreaded "if onlys"....), at my H, at the entire universe....etc.!!!!!!!!! What you are feeling is very normal!

I think the important thign is not to take this anger out on your H at this delicate time. Sounds like you did a good job tonight! The tattoo story was cute!

Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)