I hear you. I went to several al-anon meetings too. One was very large, I'd never have spoken up with 40 people in the room.
The coda meeting I went to was 8 women. There was much more of an opportunity to talk & share.
anyway, it sounds like you know where you're at & what you need to do. You sound calm & confident, & well educated about the issues, in the face of extreme difficulties.
take care & thank you again for visiting my thread
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
