Positives Round-up Roping in a new R

[imalright]

I'm sick to death of being told that we have to suck it up so that THEY won't have to feel guilty...ah, poor babies...

I think our H will realize what they have done and on their own they have to deal with the guilt of what they have done. If you made a mistake, do you think someone should remind you daily about it, throw it in your face constantly "what a bad person" you are? Remind you of the pain you caused, and whomever you hurt has "to make you pay for it" until they feel you've paid the price? Have you done something you were sorry for? Regreted it, showed your remorse? Don't be the judge and jury here! Your H has and is still paying and will have to live with what he has done until the day he dies. You can't say I don't know what you are going through, because I'm in a worse hell than you, right now my H doesn't want me. It's your life and it's your choice. NO ONE says we have to "suck it up" what they are saying is forgive! If you can't forgive him, then move on.

Personally I don't care how guilty my H feels, he damn well should. And if it makes his life 1/2 as miserable as he made mine the past year then as far as I'm concerned that is some justice at least.

No one says your H is not miserable. By all means, let me hand you my 2 x 4, you can have it, keep it, go for it! I won't be using it ever again. Sometimes we have to learn for ourselves and others can't help us by hitting us with facts. So I resign with the 2 x 4. Put it to better use.That's right beat the sh*t out of your H, make him pay, go ahead, if it will make you feel better!

I'm not going to pay with every ounce of pain I can endure and "pray" that my poor misguided H can some how come thru this hell that he created unscathed.

Then move on, because if you are sure you don't want to save your M. Then don't. If this is how you feel, do what is right for you. If that means you can't forgive your H, then "throw in the towel". Move on.

And if that makes for no reconciliation, then so be it.
I'm willing to forgive and forget (eventually)

Are you willing to forgive? We never forget. Eventually? From this post it sounds like you can't forgive and you don't want to save your M.

If he gets a 'free pass' on this....then there is no limit to what he'll interpret as HIS RIGHT to persue self gratification in the future. And I'm damn sure not giving him that 'pass' at my expense.

You are very bitter here and I hope that you get it all out. Frankly, I am surprised at you! I never thought that you felt this way. I thought you loved your H.
This is not about making someone "PAY" is it? There is a lot of hostility here. I know I have days of depression and at first I wanted H to "pay". Maybe this is a healing stage for you.
Now I know why you told me to see the OP Saturday. I didn't because I knew for me it wasn't right for me. I don't want my H to "pay" I can see my H is now living with the guilt. And in the end I would be the one who "payed" the price. That's his own hell. Me I want to feel better about myself. And I don't mean that in a selfish way either.
I only hope you can find your "inner peace". And get off of the ride you are now on.
Hope you are feeling better, and I'm sorry if what I sent you upset you! I sent you this post to help you see that "other side" to help you understand. But it seems I stired up a hornet's nest! Sorry! I didn't mean to butt in and make you feel bad about yourself.
Your life, your decision.