Deb,

I found the Men Are From Mars post interesting in that MY interpretation of it is ANOTHER....tough luck girl, get over it, move on, and stop making your man feel bad for being an immoral loser just because he cheated on you.

I'm sick to death of being told that we have to suck it up so that THEY won't have to feel guilty...ah, poor babies...

Quote:

Anything we say or do to make him feel guilty will only make it more difficult for him to find a desire to return.


Personally I don't care how guilty my H feels, he damn well should. And if it makes his life 1/2 as miserable as he made mine the past year then as far as I'm concerned that is some justice at least.

I'm not going to pay with every ounce of pain I can endure and "pray" that my poor misguided H can some how come thru this hell that he created unscathed.

And if that makes for no reconciliation, then so be it.
I'm willing to forgive and forget (eventually) BUT NOT before he fully recognizes and accepts the ramifications of what his selfishness has caused me and our M.

If he gets a 'free pass' on this....then there is no limit to what he'll interpret as HIS RIGHT to persue self gratification in the future. And I'm damn sure not giving him that 'pass' at my expense.

I am watching my H turn around these past few weeks. I'm beginning to SEE him facing the horror of what he's done and I'm beginning to see HIS fear of losing me. THAT is what I NEED to see. I NEED to know that he "gets it," I NEED to know that he realizes what he almost threw away. I NEED him to persue ME now...I need some balance here, some give and take...otherwise he will always have an "edge" if he's allowed to ever believe he's coming back for MY sake, and I will NOT have him back under those terms.
T2