Walk Away German Wife (WAGW)

[PortlandDad]

It's been a few days and I wanted to update my sitch. I wish I could say it has been a great week but it wasn't.

On Wednesday, my MIL and I were snooping in my W e-mail (my MIL and W are pretty ignorant of e-security). I discovered that she is still writing to the OM (as of a week ago), and she is apparently now a good friend of his sister. His sister wanted her to bring back some rare american shampoo and conditioner and some items from Barnes and Noble. Also, once she touched down in the USA, she started spending money again: she spent over 1000 online for clothes and other stuff. Then she bought a refrigerator for her apartment for 1200 from amazon.de.

I had enough at that point. I went to the bank and closed our old account and opened my own checking account. I had her removed from our credit cards where I am the principle, and removed myself from cards that she is the principle. Our finances are now separated. She has a personal card that I know is maxed (12,000 limit) because the charge for the fridge was initially declined on it.

I confronted her Wednesday night with the evidence of her continued correspondence with the OM and his sister and that I had separated our monies and she went beserk! She broke a glass and started slashing her arms (one of the slashes looked deep enough to warrant stitches, but she didn't want to go to the ER). She totally lost it! Her and my MIL then left with a cab for a motel, and she has been staying there ever since. She did come back when I was at work on Thursday to pick up the expedition. She says that she took it to a dealer and sold it, although she didn't say how much she got for it.

She wants me to bring the kids over on Sunday (Their return flight is Monday) to say goodbye to them, but I don't know about that. My daughter and middle boy don't even want to see her again.

From the standpoint of my mental health, though, I feel fine. Seeing her for exactly what she has become (a money-grubbing cheat and liar) has done wonders to help me detach.

At this point, I don't think there is anything that can prevent a divorce. In fact, I went to a lawyer and am going to have her served when she returns to Germany. Her cake-eating days (thanks for that expression KK) are over; she is going to get a cold dose of reality. My kids and I are not going to fund her lying, cheating, fantasy life any longer.

She called late last night to see how everyone was doing. She wanted to talk about the M, said that we were still M and wanted to defend the reasons she is feeling along and hurting. I wasn't rude or anything, but I was very indifferent with her. She almost sounded apologetic, but I think it was desperation talking. She said she would call back on Saturday, but I'm not waiting around on her.

Yesterday I felt so good! It felt like a weight had been lifted from me. The things that I could reliably think about to make me bawl didn't even get me misty.

I suppose I should apologize to the people who have been following my sitch and who have been rooting for me to save my marriage. I guess the one thing I can say is that sometimes we don't get what we wanted, but we get what we need. I finally have peace in my heart about my WAW, and now I am working on bringing that peace to my kids.

I'll keep updating and posting: even though this chapter looks complete, there could always be a new development.