Hi sonshyn, Thanks for responding! I do think our situations sound very similar, so I do appreciate your advice. I am working on changing the things about myself that you mentioned. I most definitely see the vicious cycle of things. I guess I have been doing lots of hard thinking lately. I honestly thought that when I was free of H and all of his problems I would be so happy. However, there is definitely an empty place. I have been working on the 180s and being upbeat and positive each time I talk to him. I did quit calling him after the blow up I posted about, and he did call me. I know that deep down he misses me (us). He also started saying I love you when we get off the phone again, so I guess that is good. I'll probably go on that date he wants to go on this weekend. I think it would be good for us.
I have read a lot here about the "going dark" thing, but even putting the kids aside, I don't think that would help me. Wouldn't it be a 180 for me to be more affectionate and positive when he's around? He doesn't seem to mind, so... Is that one of my 180s? Thanks!
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
