oh, & for the family activity. If it was me, I'd plan it, let her know what's going on, invite her to join if she wants. If not, you show S11 that you are still a family. Just a different one than he's had.
If she chooses not to join, tell S that people change their minds at times, & it's okay to do that. That gives him permission to change his mind about things he says he would do, then later prefers not to.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
