WAW New life with OM

[ppenton]

Well, I just blew up at W as she asked for more money from me cause when she lived her she had more. I told her that since she doesn't live here I am using her money for the household expenses and the kids. I told her OM can give you money but she thinks she should have her own money to buy personal items, I told that was fine when she lived here but not anymore. She was not happy with that but I don't care as I have the responsibility to keep the house going and take care of my kids. I feel like I'm getting stronger and stronger each day and growing so much that if/when she does serve me I'll be ready. I still want to make this M work or build a better one but she definitely is not ready to come home or talk about R. that is fine as I don't want to talk with her about R now anyways. Then she gave me a big hug.
Now W just told how she is losing friends so fast around town, I'm not surprised as lots of people know how good of a person I am. She is surprised and I think feeling lonely but its her bed.

[ppenton]

Wow, i feel so much stronger every time I tell W she can't have more money and needs to depend on OM. I have packed up the rest of her clothes cause she was never doing it and I want to use our/my closet in my bedroom! She keeps telling me the OM does not have much space to store her stuff but I told her that is not my problem. I'm not trying to be mean and I never would stand up to her and tell her no before, so she is not used to this side of me. I was/am very flexible but until she gives up OM I'm not going to bend over backwards for her anymore.

[smartcookie]

your C may be able to recommend a good attorney.

[ppenton]

The W said she hurt her back so she didn't see the kids today. Oh well, her loss.
Anyway, went to a mission tonight at my church about "Letting Go" forgiven yourself and it was inspirational and will go to another session tomorrow. Tomorrow session is about forgiven the one who hurt you the most.

[Phoenixdeux]

ppenton,

There are two ways of looking at the money issue: 1) You could continue this way and it will set a precedence that she is okay with that amount of child support and maybe get more if it goes to court, or 2) You could look up online what her child support obligation would be, and give her the rest. I personally would choose door number 2 because she'll eventually get her money put in her own account and will then choose how much she feels you deserve...and she'll lowball you. Plus, you should probably be fair.

[ppenton]

That is a good idea and I'm trying to be fair. She knew before she moved out that I needed her check to stay afloat and she doesn't want the kids to move out of their home. I'm still paying for her auto, life and medical insurance, cell phone, our joint credit cards, etc. I know she can take her money at anytime and when she does we'll deal with it then...

[ppenton]

Well, yesterday went to the mission at my church and the topic was about forgiven others who have hurt you in the past. I was very refreshing and helped me to start forgiving my W as I know she is human. I’m still missing her lots and love her very much but continue to give her lots of space and no R talk. Tonight taken my boys and meeting my family for my SIL’s birthday. We are going to Benihana's which should be lots of fun (never been there before).
S15 has HS baseball tryouts this week at 5:30am, so we get up at 4:00 and W picks him up around 5:15am. I went back to my medical doctor today and he is glad how well I’m doing since he saw me a month ago. I told about this site, the church support group, my IC, friends, family, DR and PMA have all helped me to get to this point so far but still have a ways to go.

[runningoutoftime]

Hope you have a great time at Benehanas!!! I love that place!!!! We have a resturant similar in my neighborhood and the food and atmosphere is awesome.

It sounds like you are doing great and I'm pleased to see that you are being firm about the money issue. This will be important if you do eventually end up in court. Make sure you keep careful track of all expenses, save receipts, etc...

I know exactly what you mean about not wanting divorce, but wanting to be educated and prepared for any possibility. I think that's wise.

Hang in there!!! You are doing great.

[ppenton]

Thanks, Benihana's was a blast and the kids loved it!!

It's so nice to have family around you who love you for who you are. I'm still working hard at detaching and GALing, which I think I'm doing a good job. My IC and med doctor are impressed at how well I'm doing in taking care of myself and my kids. I told them about this site and how much support you can get here and also all the other support I'm receiving which have been a God send.

[ppenton]

Walked to my brother's house which is just over a mile for dinner and had a nice time. W came to the house and feed the kids subs. I'm doing ok, missing her lots but have not seen her since Saturday, so that makes it easier to detach in a way.