I edited the above post too much and it won't let me do it again.
But to answer the other question, I dont' believe she is involved emotionally with anyone else. I've flat out asked her about an affair once at home and once at counseling and she says there isn't. But she did say that one of the male colleagues did tell her that he was starting to get feelings for her at one point and actually went for help to get rid of the feelings cause he has a family too. She says there is no way she could be ever involved with him, but says that he is still a friend and she did enjoy talking to him. So maybe she likes the attention? Or it makes her think that there are so many fish in the sea that she doesn't need to be 'stuck' with me?
But in counselling she said that she does enjoys talking to other people more than myself. She says part of it is she doesn't like the way I communicate. Although I think part of that is that she seems to be now always be assuming the worst from whatever I say although it isn't meant that way. I guess I can accept that I'm not the best communicator so I already have a book on better communication skills coming in the mail. Plus when the counselor asked if she thought that if I was a better communicator if it would make a diffference, she did pause and then did say yes. So I took note of that and hope that the answer was a genuine one, and will try to work on being a better communicator.
