Thank you so much for your insight...it really helps out. I'll try to answer all the questions as best I can.
First, I believe its more of the I don't love you, and not just the I dont feel i dont' love you. She has said that she feels that I'm like a brother or roommate right now and not a spouse. From my perspective, I think alot of things did change after the baby. After much reflection and from what I learned so far in the book, there were so many things that caused this whole mess. I see now that it's completely true that everything affects everything and no one person is really the sole cause. One example, I can think of now is that during the pregnancy, she got tired early and started going to bed early too. We both used to stay up till ~midnight together. After the baby, she would take him to bed and fall asleep with him early too. Our first mistake was that we let him sleep in our bed and he got used to it and we couldn't get him out of our bed again. So then, usually after 7-8pm, I'm all alone. I was lonely alot, but had to understand that the baby came first, and if the wife was tired...then she was tired. And any intimacy between us was kinda gone cause now we have a baby in our bed, in addition to having different sleep schedules. So eventually I found something to occupy my time too. I had friends that got me to play an online game with them at night. I had fun cause people actually wanted to do something with me. We eventually bought a new house, and we had my computer and stuff in the basement. She was still going to bed early and now just sleeping with our son in his bed cause he wouldn't go to sleep without one of us there. She tried to wake up after he fell asleep, but after awhile couldn't. I would try to wake her to come back downstairs but alot of times she was too sleepy, and so I kinda gave up trying. I just started getting on the computer by myself at night. There were some nights, maybe once every other week, where she couldnt' sleep and would come downstairs, but I'd be in the basement. She would complain the next day that I was busy with the computer and that I didnt' want to do anything. But I'd get kinda mad cause I'm thinking that I can't be just sitting up everynight hoping she'd come downstairs waiting for her.
She would say that I should be doing housework every night instead of being on the PC, which I thought was unfair. Of course I look back now and see that it made me withdraw, which made her withdraw also. Its a vicious cycle that I see now.
But we are very cordial to each other right now. She doesn't seem angry at all. But I dont' know if thats a good or bad thing, cause maybe she doesn't even have enough feelling left to be angry or anything.
I don't know if it's all a part of a MLC that she is having, and maybe our issues pushed her into it. But in the past year, she has been starting to do yoga, try to eat less (to lose weight I assume), recently had her teeth whitened, been going out to see friends more, have kinda asked about getting a new car every few weeks or so, and has basically reevalualted her entire life and came to conclusions that maybe she didn't love me as much in the beginning and it was her insecurities that made her stick with me even in the beginning. Even just now, she just got home from meeting friends for breakfast.
I've just been trying to do things to improve myself lately. She does know about me reading Divorce Busting/Divorce Remedy cause she saw them, and asked me about them. Not too many places to hide books here, esp since the den is basically her den. But I did take them and put them away somewhere last night. One thing that I have been doing is started looking into taking the LSAT for law school. She is a lawyer and always did try to get me to consider law school. I never was interested but reorgs at my work have made me look into it as an option. And she seems interested in me studying for it and has tried to help me out on questions. But I don't want to ask her for too much help or she might think I'm doing it cause of our situation.
