Yellowrose remind me again how long your h was gone. How long from the time he moved out completely? You never divorced did you? My exh wanted a divorce almost immediately. He waited 60 days because he said his lawyer advised him to. I was wondering what the difference is between a WAS and a MLC spouse? Some of the things that have been said, my xh has said also. Example: "I am not going to answer to no one, I am going to live the rest of my life in peace." "I want a simple life", "No one is ever going to tell me what to do again". Oh, and something else. My xh told my co-worker/boss, that "I WAS MARRIED 20 YEARS!!!!....as if to say that was FOREVER and he didnt want to be married anymore. In fact that is one of the things he said to me. I am sorry, I just dont want to be married anymore. (well cry me a river!!!!) <------ my thoughts .
Also guys would you all pop over to my thread (here in MLC) and read my story. I reposted it and tried to give ALL the details. I would like some more thoughts please.
My H was gone almost 2 years. No we never D'd but he threatened it all the time and he looked for L's.
My understanding of a WAS is that they walk away and never look back. MLC spouse have to make their journey by themselves. In their minds they are through with everything, spouse, kids, anything that holds them down. They don't want any responsiblities of any kind. They spend, spend, spend. Almost always there is an ow in the picture. As they work through things in their minds the fog begins to clean for some of them. Some never get out of MLC.
I dont know what happened to my xh. He has spent some money, but mostly on taking out the women to clubs or eating out alot with them. He bought himself some new shirts (trying to look good at work.lol, he is a supervisor over maint and cleaning at a nursing home),(before this happened, and before he became a supervisor, he wore blue pants and plain blue shirt). AND he NEVER worked out. NOW he doesnt miss a day working out AND he lays in the tanning bed! Now that is just plain FUNNY! He also bought some cologne, but thats it far as I know about spending. He just lives pay check to pay check though. He even admitted that to me once. He doesnt want anything to do with me but he does talk to our son almost every day, and is taking him fishing. There has been women since day one. Right now he has one staying with him. Shes 26, he is 41-in april. I figure he IS in MLC, because of the young women he is dating.
IMO, it sure sounds like your exh is in MLC. My h changed his look too, got cologne, got his ear pierced, etc. He moved in with the ow and forgot all about his life of 20 some years.
