WAW Affair Confirmed - Advice?

[DCBHM]

Spoke to a friend's wife who is a former WAW and she gave me a lot of the same insight that I've found around here.

Said the best thing I can do (at least what would have worked for her) would be to take away the comfort zone completely, make it clear I'm moving on, and not pursue at all. Just go cold - but remain open for as long as I can emotionally.

Considering the legal issue (which seems more bark than bite) I'm even more committed to cutting contact. She can't say anything happened if we haven't even been in contact much. Just my single txt each day to ask about D(1), and I schedule my visits to the daycare to see D(1) when W isn't around.

I'm not sure what the status is of her R with OM. He has been giving me the ole stink-eye the past couple of days when I get home, he's just staring over at me when I walk in my house. Last night I just looked outside and he just seemed to be pacing between his house and the neighbor across the street.

I know W's time with him has been cut because m.i.l. isn't letting her get out of the house now. I think they only really get like a few minutes here and there during the week, and buzzing up the txt messages to each other.

I'm hopeful after 2-3 weeks of NC with me, W will sort of drop the charade of pretending I'm her problem, or at least tone down her rhetoric. She seems to be fishing for more replies when she responds to my txt messages, but I don't bother.

I'm going to write her a check to pay for half of D(1)'s co-pay, and might just walk in, hand it to her, smile and tell her to have a good day, and walk out. Make contact, but keep it minimal, to the point, and get out.

Any attempts at DB are surely going to be more difficult given the legal filings, hearings, etc. - but gradually I'm distancing myself emotionally from the drama, and I'm feeling better.

For some reason, W has fallen in love with drama. The real kicker? There are other trashy neighbors around the neighborhood actively supporting W in her A. The night she got busted, a lady across the street was acting as lookout, and called them to let them know they were being watched.

By removing myself from the drama, or acting aloof, I'm hoping to just let W roll around in her misery without being able to bring me down with her.

And no... my primary goal isn't to DB until the situation is settled with D(1). But the LRT/Dim/GAL - all these things need to happen regardless.

Give me some pointers if you think I'm doing something wrong.