We sold our home

[scrappy]

I thought I'd post an update to our house sale. It fell through due to my stbx being unable to get his liens lifted to allow the sale. It was pretty disappointing. Me and the kids had already moved, though. So he is living in the house alone. He sold his business effective 12/30/08 and hasn't been working since. I think he is looking for something but not really sure. Much of our communication about the divorce stuff is via e-mail and he often doesn't answer. He'll answer if it's about the kids. For example, I asked when he was moving as he said he would bring a couple pieces of furniture that I didn't have room to bring. No answer. We have been meeting at different activities of our kids. We chat and have a nice time. It is so hard to just act like nothing....It is as if we were never married. I don't know how he can just shut off all emotion or feelings. It makes me think he stopped loving me a long time ago or maybe never loved me. I am not sure even what to from the DR strategies. Its impossible to go dark as we talk frequently about the kids. He does ask the kids to ask me stuff instead of talking to me directly. He is a huge avoider. For example, having time with the kids over spring break. He asked my daughter-16 to ask me. He said he was going to call me, but hasn't yet.

What I have been focusing on since he filed and especially since moving in December, is just working on myself. I am trying not to ask him for anything, no pressure. Pretty much when it comes to the divorce I go through my attorney because he doesn't answer me. I try to give as much as I can, not be argumentative. It took him 2.5 months to review the settlement agreement that we worked on together. The way he can just turn-off all emotion has made me wonder if he has someone else. How else could he just shut off all connection/emotion? He has always told me "no" he doesn't have anyone else. He said once he "needs to see if he can make it on his own." What the heck does that mean? It has been 8 months since he filed. I wish I could see inside his mind. I wish he would talk to me. This whole thing is killing me. I think I am hiding it well from him, though.

Any advice on the best approach to my sitch given where we are now? I would sure appreciate it, as I am feeling pretty discouraged.