As I was reading "co-dependence...", as I saw much of myself in there, I also saw much of my W - especially from the caretaker perspective. My W chose to be a SAHM for almost 10 years. She reveled in it and took great pride in her role. She gave so much to the kids, from hours daily at the playground and play dates in the early years to school room mom and PTA volunteering in later years. She is also the nuturer and attention-giver. Most nights at the dinner table, the three kids are taking turns conversing with her. She also has great listening skills, which I need to learn from.
Anyway, you're right on that your W does not need to take care of you. I finally learned that one and will be better with my next mate. It doesn't stop on the emotional needs either - help around the house and doing your fair share, whether she is working or not goes a LONG way. Read "Five Love Languages" if you haven't - my W's primary language is Service.
