Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing

[Thinker]

Thanks NM for reposting that here.

I can see that I started the M in 2, moved to 3 some time ago. I also understand the need to move to 4.

You mentioned your W's being worn out from being needed. I was watching my W with our son's the other day. They were all over her "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" - interrupting her, touching her, etc - vying for her attention - and she was going crazy inside and barely putting up with it. She finally broke through with "Stop! just leave me alone!" I thought to myself "She really does not need me to be yet another needy person she has to take care of emotionally"

I admit that I have recently begun to think to myself "Man, all of the M's in these forums seem to be going slowly downhill. Is anyone able to save their M?" I have wondered if maybe there are, but when the M starts to get better, they drop off and stop posting, or whether maybe there is not that much hope. Now I realize that in my M, there is some Hope, but it is completely dependent on me becoming a strong happy person that in no way resembles on of the kids begging for attention. It is going to be a struggle, but I have to find a way to "Lovingly Detach" - stay here, stay supportive or become even more so (My W is going to need a lot of support in the coming months), but at the same time detach.

That's the emotional how to I am struggling with - detached but friendly, fun, supportive and present.