Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing

[Thinker]

I did read your "4 degrees of love" quote, but now can't find it again.

It was interesting - thought to myself, wow, I have been stuck on 2 for a long time, and only recently started progressing.

I agree that I haven't detached enough. I was definitely in the same place - trying to control my W and (having read too many R books) was indeed smothering my W, especially after the bomb when I went into full blanket mode (card, flowers, gifts, etc etc).

I still find myself in the trap of "If I do this, then she will come back". I am doing pretty well at the GAL, and am having a lot more fun in life than I was even before the bomb. Also in better shape and taking better care of myself.

I have only recently started doing things for myself even if she doesn't like them. A lot of the GAL's were to impress her, but most are becoming more.

I read "Codependent no more" once, but read it on a plane where it was difficult to work through some of the emotional aspects, and wasn't able to do the exercises. That's next.

This has been a painful journey so far for me, but I think it is going to be so worth it in the end.