Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I had a mixed day. I have been crying a lot. Having some laughs at work with co workers and making the boss wonder. H sounded angry when he gave me the check for the insurance today saying, this is all we have to keep us together right now. That was hard to hear but I was able to immediately it, to: he is angry that he does have things the way he wants them, feels lost and lonely, but distant ( he literally stood as far away as possible from me when handing it to me - he usually just walks right into my office but this time he stayed outside) anyway, i didn't hold onto what he said - I let it go as his stuff, certainly not reflective of what I think. I think there is much more holding us together than a car insurance policy. Just for a few minutes here and there during the day reminded myself that things go either way and I needed to be prepared to let go.
H called a few minutes ago, sounded important so I called back. He actually called and left messages on both phones. Called back and he told me that something happened with one of the priests at his church - broke his anonymity and he was very upset and feeling betrayed. This is a core issue for him - he feels that everyone he has trusted in his life has betrayed him, including me. So I wondered why he was calling me - he mentioned he didn't know either, but he reassured me that he wasn't drinking nor thinking about it - or he would have called his sponsor. He is thinking about quitting the church but for once recalled that he is always quitting things and wasn't sure what to do. I listened and validated his feelings - was surprised that he did not focus any further on what I did but on others in his life. I did suggest that he wait 24 hours, talk at his meeting tomorrow morning and his therapist at night and one of the other priests before making any decisions. He thought that was all good advice, felt awkward for calling me and we said good byes. I guess it is to be continued.
{{Ready2change}}, I need to think about what you asked before replying. I have been very low since posting two days ago and just trying to take it easy on myself.
{{JCJ}}, Same thoughts to your posts. Still thinking.
{{T,S and S}}, Thanks for posting, will get back to you later.
{{{Kassie}}} Sounds like you are doing well to know what to hold on to and what to not pay attention to. It's a step by step, sometimes minute by minute process at times. I hate how something seems to have a repeat pattern to make these WAS's even more sure that "this is against them" or "they do this" to keep them away from things that can be helpful..I'm glad your hub called to talk to you about it rather than just tossing in the towel automatically..that sounds like a positive step and the fact that HE realizes he quits things like that, also sounds good as far as his growth goes!
Hugs to you and hope your spirits lift..you and I may have to not wait on the "boys" to get back to the thread and just start dancing around by ourselves to some loud dance music
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
My commitment was on the traditional vows of the christian faith.
I have been patient, forgiving and understanding.
I have always just wanted and enjoyed time with my family. I grew up spending most of my time with family. Now I have no family left. I have some fun with co-workers during the work day but that is all.
I have GAL and lived my life fairly full before now - tired of it all. Don't have any desires to go out - no place I really want to go -I like being at home with my H, children, doing everyday things. No one there now.
Tireed of being alone, tired of being left, tired of being responsible. I won't bore you and keep going on this one.
After H called me last night to tell me the last in his issues - I did some reading on his issues and I read about what I can do to help things and I don't think I can do it. I have the same issues - I learned to get past them, I tried to help him get past his, but he didn't want to learn from me. In the mean time I have had to take a lot from him for it.
Never had anyone there for me.
I feel like I should pick up a former thread of mine, Lonely and Feeling lost.
((Kassie)) Thank you for visiting my thread & your kind words.
I'm not familiar with your sitch, so forgive me if I'm presumptious. I found a great group of ladies at a co dependents anonymous meeting. I don't have sisters, so it was nice to have women to talk to who understand. I left there feeling not so lonely.
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
