Your thread name caught my attention and then saw that you had read some of mine and read "co-dependence no more". Sounds like you are doing pretty good, but without reading your first thread, seems like you are where I was months ago - knowing that I needed to do x, y & z, but still not truly detached. The co-dependent reading helped me a ton - to realize that I had centered much of my life and happiness around my wife and kids, and that I had never developed a healthy self-love and respect.
I also had trouble REALLY detaching, and, unfortunately only got there when we were quickly going down the D road. When reading some WAW threads, I think my W just could not heal from my controlling and co-dependent ways and fell out of love, and lost respect and attraction to me. Not sure about your W, but if I had these last 18 months to do over again, I would have detached sooner, given my W some needed space and started GALing earlier. She also mentioned to me that early in MC, I was completely smothering her, which pushed her further toward the D.
I never had an OM to contend with so I can't comment on that, but keep up your progress and re-read the co-dependence chapter on detaching. And do the GALing or any other 180's for you, to make you healthy, and more attractive. Don't do them for her or you will fall into the old trap. Did you read my quote from an author's interpretation of the "four degrees of love"?
