I have some time to post. My H went to visit a friend and I have some 'free time' to myself. Things are going exceptionally well. I am feeling good. I have had a few doubts and a few tears but mostly from over thinking. Thinking this is too good to be true. I am amazed at the power a healthy R has. A healthy sex life has on a R. My H is no longer 'starving' I will admit that I want to have sex several times a day sometimes and he isn't up to it. No pun intended. There have been several oppurtunities for me to point out to him .... things he did or didn't do that he told me when I did them meant I didnt care or love him. The first day he was home? I did great and he told me this is what I always wanted. I was being natural. Being myself. I wasn't worried about a thing. It felt good. I am normaly a bundle of nerves and I shoot myself in the foot . I also did the striptease or tried to and he was @ to burst into flames it felt so delicious to have him desire me like that. I also showed him the dance I had learned and he told me to settle down and that I was TOO sexy!!!! I have found a comfort zone and I have not left it. I am very pleased with us. he is also being so much more open with me. He is also being a great Dad... and that is a turn on too. But I promised to let him off the hook some. Poor guy is tired out. I wasnt really sure I could let my inner sexual diva out but I have and she isnt going anywhere any time soon. I am just confident and sexual. I feel it in me every single day. It is delicious.
I will even admit , I had a bit of a "temper tantrum" when he wouldnt give it for the 5th or more time. But I calmed myself down and remembered how he would make me feel bad for being "LD".
I have to say no more than ever ? I dont like that HD /LD labeling. I put myself in that box. i would peek out and say to myself nope you cant do it Ali. Complete bullsh*t. I am sexual and no one can tell em any different anymore. Funny thing ? It was only me who believed all the BS. Sure he said it... did not maen I had to believe it. Cause now that I don't? I am sexual , naturally. I also have now become the leader and then he will lead. But no more sittingon the sidelines waiting ... I am participating. I am setting a standard for our SL and R. I am infusing it with sensuality and he is following and being like that too. This feels right. {{ I am still a tiny bit nervous but}}} I have noticed when we get derailed some? WE get over it very fast. & I FINALLY got him to agree that the "O" is not the best part. Sheesh. That took forever. I have been trying to convince him for years. He never got it.
I am going to have to be careful. I can feel myself getting a bit too saucy when he isn't in the mood at times. ??? Not good, or I have also used it to say now do you understand ME a little more? I am sure he does. I can feel it.
NON~ Toxic Faith is believing. { FIB} NON~ Toxic
WOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!~!~!~ It feels good to be Married to my H . It feels right and healthy.
Love you all , Take care and God bless... xox xox ox xo xox o Ali