I have not posted regarding my sitch on these boards in quite some time. I was posting over in Newcomers for awhile, but my W discovered the site so I stopped. That was several months ago and I don't think she checks these boards anymore. So I feel it's time to start again since we are beginning a new, and even more depressing, chapter in this journey.
By way of background (I'll try to make this brief), my W is in the Military. She recently returned from being overseas in the middle east for one year. While she was there I played the role of single parent to our two girls and she unfortunately played the role of just being single. She is involved with another married man who has two very young children. :-(. She returned about 3 months ago. She first informed me she wanted a D last April when we met up in Hawaii for a visit with her. I was shocked to say the least. However at that time she assured me there was not an OM and that we would try and work on the relationship when she returned. Both were lies evidently to get me to move the kids across the country to be where she was being stationed next.
Skip to today, she has informed me that she wants to talk with me about moving out. She is considering buying a house. Says I can keep the girls, but she wants joint custody and equal time with them. She wants to share costs equally in everything and make this as easy as possible.
My issues, are that if I go the route of "joint physical custody" I will not be able to get adequate, or possibly any, child support (I know a question I need to talk to a L about). She makes more than I do, due to the fact that her being in the military has required me to change jobs every 2 to 3 years and it's hard to have career and salary progression when you do that.
Also, I still would like to save this marriage if possible - that appears really unlikely so I'm hoping for some advice on how to approach this meeting without further alienating her, but still standing firm on my needs and wants (i.e. adequate support). She is still in contact with the OM which is another issue as well.
Sorry if this is somewhat scatterbrained and doesn't make sense. I'm under a bit of stress today.
