I realize that not talking to them sort of seems like the wrong thing to do. But the reality of it is if you chase, they are going to run. Think of a mouse running from a cat. The more the cat tries to get the mouse, the crazier the mouse runs and tries to hide. If the cat sits and stalks and is still, the mouse will come closer until there really is no chase and the cat wins. I'm not saying that you will win, there are no guarantees, but chasing will result in running which is the OPPOSITE outcome than what you want in the end.
You have to sort of put that wall up so you can process without wondering what every single thing he does or says means. It is a natural part of the process. I don't know what is in all of those ebooks but... down the road there may be a piece of information or two you will be able to use.
Patience is the key. A friend has been hitting me over the head for months now about how impatient I am and I finally got it a few weeks ago. Probably not as much as I should but...LOL.
What you learn through all of this is for you. Will make you stronger. Like MT said, if he is there and the M survives, that is the bonus. If not, well you will still be ok and maybe even better. And you will be much more prepared for the ups and downs and intricacies of R, with him or someone else. One thing I like to remind everyone here, you are not going to get your old M back and that is ok. If you come through together, you will have a new and hopefully better M.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
