Dear MWG, Please understand that I was not reacting to what responses you were giving to PH. I was truly just simply touching base with PH and using this thread to do so. Laurie
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Dear PH, Sometimes taking a sabbatical from the board can be helpful, so I understand if you don't post.
I do believe God helps those we pray for, so please know I will continue to have you in my heart and my prayers.
Take care PH. Hugs and blessings back to you, Laurie
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Dear PH, I've received your very kind words and meaningful prayers and want to deeply thank you. I will keep your prayers with me and pray along with you. PH, your love goes beyond yourself and is truly an agape love. Some day, your H will fully grasp the blessings of being loved in such a way - I fully believe that.
Again, thank you for your kind spirit to all you share with - including me. You are such a blessing, Laurie
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Thanks for letting me know. Most of all, thank you so very much for praying with me. It means a great deal to me. I so appreciate your lovingkindness. You are a blessing to me and many others.
My stbx is exactly the same way. He will not let his wall down AT ALL! We get along perfectly fine and see each other at our kids functions 2-3x/week. He doesn't talk about anything R related ever. He won't reply about anything to my messages unless its about the kids. I've asked him why and he just says he didn't know the answer (to the particular question I asked). Why doesn't he just reply and say that? Who knows?! He acts like we are not even married...or never were married! No emotion at all. Our anniversary is coming up on 3/18- 19 years. I am quite sure he will not say a word. He obviously still wants this D based on his behavior and the fact that he is not stopping it, though he sure does move VERY SLOWLY on things. I thinks it's his depression/drinking (alcoholic). It's very weird to me how he can just keep stuffing all the emotions inside...what can you do? What will he do with it? Its so unhealthy. I wonder if he has someone else. Does your ex/stbx have someone else? I wish I had the answers....I feel your pain!
Me:42 H:47 D:17 S:14 D:13 D:13 M: 18 years H filed 6/16/08 (I considered separation 5/08). D final 11/09. EH MLC/alcoholic. Not sure what the future holds..
My stbx is exactly the same way. He will not let his wall down AT ALL! We get along perfectly fine and see each other at our kids functions 2-3x/week. He doesn't talk about anything R related ever. He won't reply about anything to my messages unless its about the kids. I've asked him why and he just says he didn't know the answer (to the particular question I asked). Why doesn't he just reply and say that? Who knows?!
scrappy, It's good that you have contact with your H. It's possible that he really doesn't know how to answer your questions because either he doesn't have the answer (due to his confusion and MLC) or he doesn't want to hurt your feelings with the truth.
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He acts like we are not even married...or never were married! No emotion at all. Our anniversary is coming up on 3/18- 19 years. I am quite sure he will not say a word. He obviously still wants this D based on his behavior and the fact that he is not stopping it, though he sure does move VERY SLOWLY on things. I thinks it's his depression/drinking (alcoholic).
It's a positive that he's not in a hurry. He can't be too serious about the D if he's dragging his feet about it... Take advantage of the delay.
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It's very weird to me how he can just keep stuffing all the emotions inside...what can you do? What will he do with it? Its so unhealthy. I wonder if he has someone else. Does your ex/stbx have someone else? I wish I had the answers....I feel your pain!
The emotion stuffing is part of the MLC and denial. Yes, mine has. Take care. Sorry about the delay in responding.
Dear MWG, Please understand that I was not reacting to what responses you were giving to PH. I was truly just simply touching base with PH and using this thread to do so. Laurie
I guess I missed something here because I wasn't really pointing out things you had said. My posts were geared toward 25 years....
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
If anyone is interested in knowing about an effective way to get over past issues, trauma and hurts, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Re-processing) is very good. It has been proven effective in treating post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and even abusive behavior. Here is the link to the EMDR association where you can learn more about it and also can locate an EMDR therapist near you - EMDR.
