I enjoy reading your stuff as it gives me a glimmer of hope.
I think for me my wife is not at the level of comfort that yours is. I know that takes a while. I'm trying to work the principles - supporting her emotionally, trying to make her feel safe and secure, and such. I've always helped out chore wise. We were pretty close to calling it quits so it is probably (already is) going to take a while before she will make any effort to try to improve our physical relationship. My biggest fear is that she doesn't want to and won't ever re-open herself sexually to me. For the last about 2 years the primary effort on our sexual relationship has been avoidance. At this time I'm just hoping that eventually she will care and want to have a good physical relationship with me. It's been so long now since our sex relationship has been healthy that what we have now has become normal. What I'm afraid has happened - and seems to have - is that this current physical relationship is ok with her and she doesn't want or care for any more. Problem is that for me it is not satisfactory or fullfilling and isn't what I want and think will be acceptable for me long term marriage wise. Once a month is average now and because it is so infrequent and far between, we have lost touch with each other and are distant intimacy wise. Even after we do ML I don't feel very close to her anymore and "loved". At least for me it doesn't feel close - it's not emotionally satisfying and our current reprituior (sp ?) is so limited it isn't all that physically satisfying either. I know it can and could be a lot better - at least for me. At this time I think it isn't important to her and she doesn't care if I'm unhappy or frustrated. I going to continue to work and hope that changes and she does start to want a better physical relationship with me.
