I still think he's got some serious issues besides the alcohol, but it doesn't really matter, because nothing can be dealt with without dealing with the substance abuse first anyway.
You're absolutely right. Bringing a cup of cranberry juice and vodka to a public family gathering is a dead giveaway to the extent of his addiction. If you can, try to look at life thru the Al-Anon lenses for now. It will help you more than you know. Leave the rest of it for another time.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012