Messed Up?

[CharlieBrown]

All,

Been lurking for a while and following your sitches (especially Cinco's), but haven't been in much of a modd to post, until now.

My wife has an inutero (sp?) fibroid that is about the size of a softball. Has had it for years and it causes a few issues, including adding bleeding both during her period and for a week or so before her period. Plus it can add some discomfort from time to time. Anyway, I have been really cool about the bleeding and the protracted amounts of time that ml is off-limits (and before the question comes up, once the bleeding starts, ml of any type is a non-starter for her) and have focused on db/ssm principals. And I haven't done this just to follow the manual, but because I really know she is suffering.

Anyway, a couple weeks ago she was finally going to have it removed laproscopically so it is an outpatient deal instead of having to do a partial-hysterectomy (isn't modern medicine great?) and it had to be postponed at the hospital because her bloop pressure was up. So, hopefully, it will be done in a few week.

In the meantime, we haven't ml for at least a month and maybe 6 weeks after we had been making progress December and January. Plus, my wife has been laid off and is taking a new job in a couple weeks. While this is good news financially, she is getting stressed out already and work was always an excuse to not ml. I tried to head this off at the pass and yesterday sent her a text that we were going to have a nice dinner with good wine and I was going to "sex her up" which she thought was funny (in a good way). Plus over the past few days we had some healthy bj banter (something that has been completely missing in our sls) so I was looking forward to that.

Anyway, great dinner, and we split a bottle of wine, all is well. I put kid one to bed and after I come out from that, she is in our bed sleeping with kid two. Understand, this is a very rare thing for us and it is only 8:30 at this point. I wake up kid two and put her to sleep, go in to wake up w, who I think is just pretending to sleep to get kid two to sleep, and she is sleeping. Says she will get up. Nothing for 10 minutes, so I go back in and she is sleeping and going to stay sleeping. I am very mad at this point, but resist the begging that I would have resorted to before. Instead I watch tv and finish off the wine that was poured in our glasses and go to bed, still seething.

I have never had the ability to wake up like nothing happened, but instead anger turns into resentment and bitterness overnight. This morning we hardly said two words and she hasn't called or texted me all morning. Was this a screwup by me? It is frustrating because the r talks don't work, yet in her mind she can "write this off" as me being "a big baby about it"(quote from a previous r talk. On the other hand, I am sick of beign the only one to make a real effort, than smiling and pretending I am happy with it and my reaction last night and this morning was honest.

Part of why I was mad is that tonight and tomorrow night we have plans that we won't get home until late from and she knows that.

Sorry for the long post, but I value your insights.

CB