Just catching up on your thread today. I'm so glad you expressed your thoughts to your H and he too did some thinking on his own, and is willing to do something at least to help you with your fears/doubts. It shows he is a willing participant in recommitting to your M. I'll bet he too has some fears of his own and that's why he's taking it slow as far as coming back home.
My H had talked about doing the same thing. He wanted to get a place of his own on the other side of town from both me and OW. But he doesn't have the finances to afford a place of his own, and he said he really wanted to come home, so home he came.
But something changed in him this past week. I think it might have been a combination of things. Something OW said to him.....something his mother said to him (his mom said to not worry about what everyone else wants him to do, but to do what he TRULY wants to do), or possibly his symptoms of withdrawal from OW are getting the better of him.
I'm just hoping that absence from OW is just NOT making his heart grow fonder of her. I'm being very careful not to pressure him, but it just feels like he is giving me signs that he might have made the wrong decision to come home when he did. When he first came home, he was so loving and sounded committed to making our M work. But now he is detaching BIG TIME. He's just cold and not very into rebuilding our M. He was so mean and arrogant to me on Friday just before he left even after I washed and packed all his clothes for his trip and did not do or say anything to cause him to be mean and arrogant to me.
I told him that he was being mean and arrogant and I hope he thought all weekend about how he had treated me and how I didn't deserve such treatment. I hope God is working on my H's heart ALL weekend. And I'm still praying that he will come up with love and committment in his heart for our M.
Trust is soooooo hard for us after our H's have had an affair! But if we can truly forgive them, our M's can be saved. I think our problem is wanting them to tell us they WANT us to forgive them....that way we would know they are admitting they were wrong and would NOT do it to us again.
So I'm still waiting for some of my prayers to be answered and will certainly let everyone know when my prayers ARE answered. And I will continue to pray for you, T2. I think you and your H have an EXCELLENT chance of making it. I read a sense of committment on your H's part, so focus on that and let that fact help you increase your PMA a little. H seems more affectionate to you when you have your PMA in control.
