no, hon, he's an alcoholic. he's not an enigma, he's not jeckyll and hyde--don't give him any more power than necessary; use your Al-Anon tools to deal with him. you need empowerment, not to feel victimized by the unpredictability of his moods.
I appreciate what your saying. And I'm working on the empowerment. Most of my reading this week has been about detachment, and really understanding what that means. For me...it means that I am beginning the steps to eventually separate from him, and not let him make me crazy in the meantime.
It will go one of two ways...it will be the catalyst that causes change for him...or he will choose addiction and it will be the first step to divorcing him.
I've decided it's not loving or compassionate toward myself to remain in this situation the way it is, and it's not loving or compassionate toward him to do it either. Just "bearing" him and trying to mitigate the effects of his crazy behavior on me and the kids isn't doing him any favors either. At the rate he's going now, he's going to destroy himself with alcohol. His type of cancer could have been caused by it.
I still think he's got some serious issues besides the alcohol, but it doesn't really matter, because nothing can be dealt with without dealing with the substance abuse first anyway.
