I'm struggling with a feeling that I get when I read your last post, and I'm not sure if it's a good one.
I feel like your W gets to have her cake and eat it too. Like she's not being required to be your woman. But you have to continue spinning wheels and doing more and more and more. I'm sure she appreciates the clean toilet and not having to lift a finger at night... But, appreciation doesn't replace giving your man some luvin'.
I guess we all have to get to the point of being ready to stand our ground and feel confident enough to say "I love you, have always loved you, and I need you to LOVE ME NOW."
I'm too tangled up in my issues right now to know if my feelings about my situation are influencing what I feel when I read your situation.
Anyway, I have this urge to tell you to stop scrubbing the toilet and putting gas in the car and being Mister Everything. Make her be a wife and mother. Cut her loose and make her stand up on her own two feet. If you don't want her to get her hands dirty, pay for a housekeeper - but don't stoop over your toilet AND make the money. Love yourself, respect yourself, stand proud, and be the man.
Acts of service. What-EV. "Here's an act of service - I paid the mortgage today. Now love me right, woman."
Wow - Where the heck is this coming from???
I hope it helps and doesn't do damage.
DQ-Help!
Lucky
No damage LG. Don't worry, I'm a big boy.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately, especially since I have been exploring what it means to be a man. Basically I have decided to put the inequities on hold until our R is as strong as it can be. W was ready to walk only four months ago, and I am still working on fixing the issues that got us to that point. So far she hasn't really had to do anything.
Believe me, I am familiar with that feeling you said you are struggling with. One of my complaints about W for the longest time is an inability to see things from others' pov. She can be quite egocentric. This issue alone has caused many problems for me. The only way to get W to realize what you are going through is if she experiences it herself. She is the type of person who always thinks that what she has to go through and deal with is much worse than yours (until she has to do it herself). In the past I have let her experience things that she could not appreciate by way of empathy alone. While this gets the message across, she also complains that I am "teaching her a lesson" and "treating her like a child".
Just so you don't think it is completely one sided, W is not a stay at home Mom. She works a job just like me, plus she is in weekend school. She is responsible for preparing dinner (although she doesn't cook nearly as much as she should).
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
