You'll be eligible for benefits soon. Just wait, and in the meantime be very aggressive about paying off any debt that has your name on it. Have you sold the property you were going to sell and used the money toward debt?
Once your benefits are secure, figure out if there is truly any financial benefit to remaining married. I see that as pretty unlikely, as H will likely continue with his reckless spending. A few thousand dollars a year is NOT worth it.
If he wants an allowance and if he wants to act like a child, treat him like one. Eliminate all credit card, checking, and ATM access for accounts. Get him prepaid credit cards that can't be used once they run out.
Who cares what he wants? How do you feel about him sleeping in your bed and having sex with you while he is having As and wanting a D?
