Well I was at the docs for sleeping tabs and he called me to ask if I wanted to go to lunch. I looked like sh@t but to be honest, he's hardly even looking at me didn't matter lol.
We went to a place we always go to, so strange and bit tense. I was acting happy or at least normal. He was telling me about work, lots going on there so I was listening. He then went on to say he might but another business in a few years WHAT, I didn't mention anything about Australia even though that was what he was all for a few months ago. That made me sad but what's new these days.
He asked twice where I was going but not reading too much into that because I think it was just to make conversation.
He asked if we I minded giving his friend our suitcases as his friend was leaving his partner. My first thought was yes, means you can't pack LOL. He went on to say stuff about this girl how she was never happy no matter what his friend did for her. I got the feeling he was talking about us so I said nothing. nothing at all.
He asked where counselling was and I told him but resisted talking about it.
We came home and I just came to our room, I feel like I'm an intruder in the house.
I'm not quite sure what I do now. I'm very nervous of the session tomorrow. I don't think I know now how to behave.
I need to stop thinking how unfair it is and yes it's selfish but I feel like that. I feel like my world has been pulled from under me. One of the things I had a few months ago was total security in love and my life. I sure miss it now but hey ho.
