Another crazy day, I had to leave work early AGAIN to pick up D15 with headaches, upset stomach. She might have a slight concussion after the last game and getting whacked with ball.
Tomorrow I have to leave early and go to atty, Friday - doctor for D and next week take D to IC. In between trying to run a 2 day event with about 20 people involved. I need my job and all I do is take time off these days. It is really tough. My boss knows what is going on but as we know they will only be sympathetic for so long.
I also had my meeting where H attends today. He came in late and sat one chair away from me. I did catch him looking at me at least a few times.
He did get a truth dart today. Last week I "suggested" that he get his own car insurance. He is now looking and is shocked that it is going to cost him almost double (LoL - I sent the $$ amount of his vehicle on our coverage). He stopped me after the meeting and asked if that coverage was for 6 months or a year. I said it was a year and he said why won't I get that rate. It is because of my years svc with at work and I get a reduction in insurance by 45%. Oh well. Guess the OW couldn't find him a good rate.
Then finally D28 calls me and says I talked to H today. She started to say she was upset today (work issue), but then H cuts her off and says, yeah I know it has been a really rough year for you and your sister. She said he actually sounded regretful. Maybe everything is not perfect in the plastic pinata palace.
I keep praying.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope, glad you are managing all the little details that life brings. You are a superwoman for doing so much for your D's and for yourself, keep it up! You are right that work would only be sympathetic for so long, they are a company and not your friend so keep an eye on your back, don't be the target.
I am so glad it sounds like your H is hit with the truth dart! That's fantastic news! What a way to take H out of lala land. Now, don't get your hopes up too high. Expect nothing! He is veer back and forth and back and forth. One minute depressed because he regrets the way his life has turned out, another minute ecstatic because he has found escape with A. But it's a first step out of the euphoria of A.
I know that you knew that life would not be simple for him if he left you but because he was in A, he completely ignored all the signs. Now that life is settling down a little, he is beginning to have to deal with all the details that was left in the corner of the room. Guess what, he still has to deal with life whether he is with you, with OW, or out on his own. No use pretending it's not there. He is learning that lesson and you are stepping back to let him learn it, good for you! You are learning that you don't NEED to rub it in his face to get him to see the truth of his sitch. You are learning fast, give yourself a pat on the back!
Hope, keep being there for your D's, try to get some enjoyment out of your life. Do you have any hobbies? Any social outlets? Give yourself an assignment to have fun this weekend and not think about H or your R at all for an hour or two. Tell me about what you plan to do and then we'll see if you could do it. Give yourself a mini-emotional vacation. Let me know :-)
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
Well the worst kept secret in our Company just keeps better and better. Received this e-mail today from a former coworker that used to be OW's boss. OW used to complain to my H that this woman boss was picking on her and that is why my H felt sorry for her and hired her. And still HR seems to have done NOTHING about it.
Hope -- how are you girlie? I just heard and I wanted to drop you a note, not to make you feel uncomfortable in any manner. Just to let you know you are very much loved and respected. Those of us who know you, love you and we are here to hire hit men for you if needed. I went through the same thing in 1999 after six years, and it was devastating to go through. I didn’t have as much invested as you do. I wanted you to know if you doubt yourself for one minute, you shouldn’t. You are a beautiful, lovely, smart, charming person, and not one minute of that B.S. is on you. There are just some selfish people in this world. I have figured out that cheaters will cheat on whoever they are with. If Halle Barry and Christi Brinkley can get cheated on, we know it’s certainly not about looks. Make sure to get out and live your life. You have strong, powerful women friends who are here to help pick you up and go to movies, drink a great bottle of wine with (or two) and remind you that there is not one thing wrong with you! Please let me know if you would like to get out, do some shopping, see a movie, grab a beer, anything.
Let me put it this way -- who DOESN'T know
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Sounds like you are well respected lady. What a nice email. Take her up on her invitation. You deserve some "Hope" time. Remember you are a wonderful person!
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I wonder if your H is ashamed that people is finding out and talking about him. I think he might be, that's why he wants to leave and not face the music. It's good because he is suffering the consequences but I hope he sticks it out for another 6 months, for your sake and the kids' sake.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
Though H and OW were getting fired yesterday. Someone from up North was told that some people were getting fired today. Of course the only ones I could think was the 2 of them. But H and OW are still gainfully employed. Found out a couple people from up north were fired for mischarging to a contract. One of the guys had 30 years with the company.
Since it seems everyone knows about it and they are usually so strict about company policy can't believe that they are still caring on.
I responded to D papers and they are being delivered to H's L on Monday. As part of the snail D, all we did was respond to a fault D - adultery. No terms, no respond time so that H's atty has to do the next step and incur the next cost of whatever. We did ask for cost of my atty based on that this is H's choice and that I did not want a D and felt the money should have been put into MC instead. Sure there will be some love busting with H and OW next week on that.
Today - boring. I slept most of the morning, D15 is at school for an overview of testing coming up.
Did see Slumdog Millionaire last night. Good movie but some parts are very depressing. Had no one to go with so I went alone. The weekends are tough
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope, Just posted on my thread about friendships and I was thinking with you in mind in particular. Do you have anyone close to you that you can talk to? I know your family is far and your weekends are lonely. When our H leaves they also take away our best friendship so I want to make sure that you have friends to console you and help you through this difficult time. I have some friends who have bailed and some who have stuck by me. I hope you have at least one person who is there for you. Take a chance, reach out, take care!
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
Hi PM, pretty funny we crossed threads. I did have lonely weekend. Found myself taking naps during the day because I think I am probably a little depressed getting through these days.
Went to the movies to see Slumdog millionaire by myself because D15 went to movies with friends. On Saturday I got together with a work friend and went to her house. It is a little tough because she knows H left me but does not know that he is having an A with direct report. Living half truths.
Also went to Alnon meeting and there are some kindred spirits. I find these days I miss my H and the old days but I know he doesn't exist. As long as he is drinking and with OW I have no chance.
Thanks so much for checking on me. I think of you often and your great words of advice.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
I loved Slumdog and I am planning to see it again. What a great story and a reaffirmation that true love can exist, that there are good people out there, who can be male. I love the scene where he kisses the scar on her face. I cried so hard! What a great scene. I am an optimist, this kind of love does and can exist. We have to keeping hoping and trying.
Last week I had an a DB coach session and an IC session. Both have been great. I know you are missing your H, maybe it's just not time for him to come back yet. My therapists help me see how I contributed to the breakdown of my M in a safe environment, made me really honest with myself, scary thing to do but so good for me. Are you doing the same?
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
Hi PM, I have been to DB sessions and saw IC till January. Lately I have been getting D15 on the right path since right now she is having the toughest time. She told me she absolutely hates her father. I talk to her about this and she says she is entitled to how she feels. She has first C session on Wed.
In between trying to fill some papers out for D (financial stuff) and hoping that H does not respond too soon. I am only functioning at about 60% these days.
I have been doing personal inventory. I know how i contributed to the breakdown by just basically neglect. We both were drifting. I have so many regrets, woulda, coulda, shoulda, but now I have to look only towards the future and hope this can be turned around.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
