It sounds like you are putting so much pressure on yourself. When you are under that much pressure how can you expect yourself to feel loving. It also puts a lot of pressure on him too and we have seen how the WAS reacts to pressure too (he is still at least half WAS after all). It may be why he is still burying himself in work. I know you want him to step up to the plate but how can he really when he is scared/ unsure of your reactions.
You must have so much going on in your head with the revelations that counselling brings - it always takes me time to digest these things. You are also expecting to see results. What results are you hoping to see? Let’s work out how you can bring them about, that in turn may or may not evoke those loving feelings again.
Step back Maria, give yourself time and space to work. It is ok to give yourself a mental break from it too if you need to and regain your strength and come back fresh. You have the means to do that, starting divorce won't necessarily give you that break as it brings out a whole new set of emotions.
