seriously... how much change could have been in that jar for her to notice that it was gone? How much money are we talking about? Maybe it really wasn't that much which is why she hasn't noticed? Don't make a big deal out of it either.
I went to the bank to cash in all the change we were saving for a vacation and to take the W off of my joint account. Got to the bank and the coin separating machine was broke. So I will go back. Bank told me I could not remove her and I would have to close it and open a new. The lady asked me why and I smiled and said divorce. I think she thought I was the one wanting the D. I guess that's good. I am starting to not throw out the bad vibes any more.
Told W I was closing our joint account and opening a new one in my name only. Told her I was going to take over paying the bills that she was paying out of the joint account. She did not care about me closing the account. She was more interested in knowing why now. Why all of a sudden I wanted to take over the bills when 2 weeks ago I put it off until we moved. I told her it was something I was going to do eventually any way so I figured now would be good. Besides (and I did not tell her this) She does not need or deserve to know how much I make any more. I have a base pay. But if we have a good week I could make double my base pay.
I told her that I was not going to be able to make a certain payment cause I did not have money. at first the discussion was a little rough. Then it got better. And she said she was proud how I handled the discussion. Dont think it means anything.
She did not notice the big change jar was empty. Wonder how that will play out. She gets nothing.
Money seems to be a recurring theme in alot of your posts and your constant lack of it. You can't do this because you have no money, can't make a payment because no money, etc. Has money been a source of fights for the two of you on a regular basis? Do you spend money frivilously on things you don't need? Or does she? Seems with 2 people working and no kids, money shouldn't be that much of an issue but it seems that it is, it's possible living paycheque to paycheque has been stressing you both out.
Fights?? We never fight. She never got/gets angry in the true sense of being mad. And If I got upset she would withdraw. We never learned to communicate correctly.
Me 41 W 44 Together 7 years Married 6 Bomb Dec 2 08
Fights?? We never fight. She never got/gets angry in the true sense of being mad. And If I got upset she would withdraw. We never learned to communicate correctly.
We are actually getting better at comunicating now.
Me 41 W 44 Together 7 years Married 6 Bomb Dec 2 08
I dont get it. Why would she text me yesterday that she was going to be late and tonight she does not at all. She must be doing something she knows is morally wrong. She continues to deny OM but since I know she has been texting and calling OM's there is a good possibility she is on a date tonight. Driving me nuts. I was doing so much better. I even went to bible study tonight. But she will never know cause she was not here yet when I got back. I know I should not worry about her but I cant help it. So usually when she does finally get home she comes in the room to change in our bathroom.so I put her pj's on the door handle so she does not need to bother me.
Me 41 W 44 Together 7 years Married 6 Bomb Dec 2 08
I am not doing good right this second. Its almost 2 in the morning. She has not called text or nothing. This will be the first time she has not let me know she was staying out late. I thought I could handle it. But here I am venting. She has been drinking on the weekends more that she ever has in the whole R. Last time she was this late she was waiting for the alcohol to ware off. I handled it better last time. But I am not doing good right this second. My heart is beating through my chest just thinking about it. If she does not come home tonight I pray to the lord he does not let me do anything. This is hard. I dont know what to do. Right now. I am sure in the morning I will be fine. Its just getting through the next few hours. I thought I was doing better. I really did. Whats going through my mind right now is not good, not good at all. I am not sure my next statement to her is going to be anything less than something that will end all chances for any kind of anything. not good
Me 41 W 44 Together 7 years Married 6 Bomb Dec 2 08
I am praying to god that I get through this. I have to many things going through my head right now. Please god help me. Please god. please. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I want out. Cant handle this. Cant be friends. not sure if I can even fake it. I cant let this effect me. WTF why do I let this affect me like this. She is not worth this. I want to say I am done. Not sure if I will ever forgive her. It just hurts so bad. I wish she could feel this pain. I dont care what anybody says this pain is different than any pain she went through in our M. This is worse. All she had to do is say something sooner. I cant say anything to fix this. All she had to do is say SOMETHING.
Me 41 W 44 Together 7 years Married 6 Bomb Dec 2 08
she did not come home last night. Feel like crap right now. I know I will get through this. No need to ask her. She would just lie. Not going to be a good day. Might be time to move on. This just hurts to much.
Me 41 W 44 Together 7 years Married 6 Bomb Dec 2 08
I'd begin detaching. The only thing you can control at this point is yourself. Worry about you - not her. If you constantly stay emotionally invested in someone who is intent on pulling you down - you will become more of a danger to the M than she is.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
I dont care what anybody says this pain is different than any pain she went through in our M. This is worse. All she had to do is say something sooner. I cant say anything to fix this. All she had to do is say SOMETHING.
I feel your pain Noedphi, I really do. I have thought those very thoughts many times, and I pray that God softens W's heart so I can have an opportunity for amends.
That's the only advice I have for you, pray for a change in heart, because there really is nothing else you can do.
