ok guys I am trying to get a timeline here and try to at least tell where my xh may be at in this, if....its a MLC
First of all a little history of his family. My xh has 3 brothers and 1 sister, whom have ALL left their spouses behind, with the exception of his sister and she came back after a few days. The family was held together, from what I know, by the Dad. The dad past away around 6 months before I came along. He died, from what I know, in the er of a heart attack or blood clot, not sure. When this happend, the older brother joined the army, the sister got married and one brother/which was adopted/left. That left my xh and his little brother with their mother. Shortly they moved to my town and we met a few weeks later. The first night I met my xh, he asked me to dance and told me he was going to marry me.lol He was drinking a little, so I ignored him and didnt think he would even remember me the next day. Well he did, he called the next day and we took it from there. 6 months later, we married...six months later we got pregnant. Our first and only son. We lived with his mother until I insisted on moving out. She then moved beside us. My xh and his mother were very close. A few years later she died of leukemia. Woke up one morning sick and lived 1 year later. I loved her so much, and so did my xh. He held her hand til the end. I felt soooo sorry for him. He didnt really cry much, he held his feelings in alot, as he always has. He lost both parents at an early age. I think they were both in their forties and both unexpected to die. From there on out it was me, my xh and son at holidays, because I wasnt close to my family. On Christmas we would visit my aunts but other than that, it was pretty much us 3 most of the time. We would have been married 20 years in April of this year. Now skip ahead a few years until around 2006 when my xh became a police officer. My xh was always VERY confident, and becoming a police officer just increased it. He sometimes brought his attitude home with him, but I ignored him. One time I saw him on stop and I parked and listened to him talk to the person. He screamed at him because I guess the guy was lying or something, but my xh voice sounded the same as when he yelled at me or my son. I realized then he brought it home with him sometimes. Dont get me wrong, my xh was a kind hearted person when he wanted to be, he also was a Fire Chief (lots of authority there), and he loved to save lives and make a difference in the world. Lots of people came to know him and depend on him in both careers (fire dept. was volunteer though). He had alot on his shoulders, but seemed to like it. People would call him constantly needing something, but my xh seemed to like being depended upson. He sometimes would brag about people needing him. His personality is one that is VERY confident and knows it all. He will argue with you until you see it his way. (My son is the same, GOD help me.) Anyway he was in charge of alot, and what did I do, I stood by his side. I never, and I promise, well hardly ever complained about him being away from home so much. Add fishing into the mess and he was pretty content with his life. We didnt have the best of everything, but we were blessed. My xh was a very hard worker, sometimes even jobs beside this on the side. When he asked for something, I felt he deserved it, so he got it. Never once, that I can remember him asking for anything he didnt get, even in the bedroom! After my xh became a police officer is when I had a few spurts of distrust. A couple things happened with phone calls and such, nothing really major.*at least I dont think* I started seeing the "flirty" side of him alot during this time. BIG GUY on the force, so to speak!lol We had our little moments, like everyone else, yelling then make up sex. Around 2005 I caught a girl calling my husband. I could never prove anything because it was police related. Now that I think of it, it could have been more, but I couldnt prove it, so I let it go. He promised me it wasnt anything. Around 2007-beg. 2008 is when I REALLY noticed changes (of course didnt really realize it then as much). His best friend on the force with him retired. This guy always had my xh's back on anyting job related. From their on he had a "carefree" attitude when it came to his job. My xh was around 39 at this time. Due to his attitude he LOST HIS JOB!!!! That is when the most changes took place. In 2008 he lost his job, just prior to this he started working out like crazy and taking diet pills. Said he wanted to get in better health. He had surgery on his shoulder a year or so before that, and his shoulder always hurt him and still does. He started staying at the fire dept alot. Complained alot about things it seemed. He started, in my opinion, paying more attention to the way he looked. I also, a couple times caught him looking on the computer for a old schoolmate (female), I am pretty sure he dated her at one time. I also think he was looking at women.... possibly dating sites, but dont know, because those sites come up alot on the computer anyway. I was looking at the internet sites he was going to when I noticed them, so not so sure about them. At this time he started saying sex was "overrated" and sex wasnt everything. Dont know what was up with that. We still had sex but he started saying that, I think this started right before losing job in 2007 (the end of 07 I think). I stayed up late at night because I worked 3rd shift some and I slept during the day. He said once he was tired of being alone, so he left and went to the fire dept. (I just thought that was an excuse to not be at home). My xh finally got a job as a maint. man at a nursing home. He worked 3rd shift for around 3 or 4 months. During this time, he started having trouble at the fire dept. and resigned as chief. Something he always LOVED! Due to the time he was off work, we were having a hard time paying for our home, so we decided to sell it. He moved 20 years worth of stuff into a rental home. Shortly after my husband went to 1st shift, became a supervisor and started working longer hours. He warned me before hand that he would be staying later at work. During this time my mom died (also of leukemia). My husband worked EVERY day during the wake and furneal. He only worked half a day, but I needed him. His boss told him to take off, I know she did, but he didnt. He supported me during the funeral and after. 3 weeks after my mom passed away we decided to moved back into our home and keep it. After being out of it ONLY 3 months or so. We moved again 20 years worth of stuff back to our home. One afternoon, on lunch break, I came home to check on xh....he was painting our home. He seemed fine at first, hugged me and so forth. While talking with him his cell phone rang, but he looked at it but wouldnt answer it. I asked him why and so forth. He said BLAH BLAH BLAH, and then finally he dropped the BOMB! I love you but not in love with you and I am very close to cheating. I want out! Ok, guys you know the rest.....routine routine....just like everyone else's story. Sorry so long, but I wanted to get everything in. NOW do you still think he is in MLC?
