Thanks vickyd for responding:)

I have read both DB and DR but I think I need to go over them again. It has been a while since I read them. I haven't really made any changes in how I interact with H cause I thought I was doing it right. Obviously not enough.

I am always positive (except the few times we argued), I always look my best when I know I am going to see him. I do listen to whatever he tells me as far as things he is doing that he feels the need to tell me about such as his daily routines and such. I validate as much as possible. And I do not criticize(sp?) him at all at those times. I offer my advice or suggestions if he asks.

But the more I think about what you say the more I think that maybe I am pursuing. That is why it helps to get on here and get advice. It is easier to see where you are messing up and to try to fix it.

I know what you mean by the emotional outrage. I see that in me. I have to stop.

I do feel a little better today. The money came and it DID go into my account. I thanked God over and over for that. One less worry.

I picked D7 up from H's house today and H was acting as if the argument never took place. He was conversating about a few different things that kinda surprised me. He was telling me about his prescription changes (cholesterol) and going on about other things he normally does not tell me about anymore.He was also being a little playful.

I told him that the money had came and he was going to need to come to the bank with me to get his share because I was not going to walk out of the bank with cash like that on me.

H followed me to the bank and was being playful the whole time in there. So much so that the lady who took care of us made a comment about how good we were together. I thought I was going to fall out of the chair when she said that. H just sat there grinning at me.

We left the bank and went our seperate ways. So now the time has come. I go in the morning to finish paying my L and get a final date set that just my L and I have to attend. My L says it should not take more than a week:(

But I will get through it. I know I am going to fall to pieces when I leave that courthouse and am divorced but I was the one who filed so I have to live with that now.