Mindblank #2 - "Stuck as friends..."

[AJM]

Whoa. You can't take that to town. You'll get arrested and they'll use handcuffs

Great to see a sense of humor in this. I laughed till my sides hurt. Plastic? Don't they make better than that?

I wonder though: are you worried you'll like BOB better and not want H back?

Stay patient. You're doing great and I'm rootin' for you here in NC.

Cheers,

AJ

[ernest88]

A lot of times I don't like to read what you say, but I do know it's the right thing to hear.

you and lots of others here..LOL..if you get tired or want me to stop..just pull the trigger..I'll understand..

I am a bit of a rebel sometimes, though. So, I won't always follow all of the rules!

well then..maybe you need to do a 180.... ..maybe he's weary of the rebel...

[mindfull]

Mike... I'd never want you to stop. Just don't get pissed if I flip you off!


I have nothing to update. Status quo. No ups, no downs. H comes home tonight from working out of town. Making his fave dinner that he likes to order out (have never cooked), will shower and be ready, think of interesting things to say, etc...

B O R I N G

[Sam1007]

So, are you doing stuff for yourself? It's ok to journal here and tell us about stuff you do for you, to make you happy, to fill your life without it having anything to do with your H. How have you made yourself happy these past few days?

Just trying to start you thinking about that...

[mindfull]

Sam:

I worked (work at home in research lab automation industry) this am. Sold some stuff! (Believe it or not, people are still buying SOME things!!) Commisson!!!

I caught a buzz @ lunch! LOL Went with two great friends to a martini lunch and shopping.

Lost the buzz during shopping... Picked up kids from school. Took S9 to get his sports goggles fixed, as he has a soccer tournament this weekend. Stopped at Walgreens to get anti-fog stuff for lenses. Cried all the way home because I passed the aisle with condoms, lubricants, etc...

I f*cking hate this.

Thanks for checking in!

[Sam1007]

Good! You did someting fun just for YOU! That's great! How about some hobbies? Anything you have given up on over the years, that you used to enjoy? I have gotten back into working on the house, photography, all kinds of stuff I just didn't seem to have time for anymore.

I know how you feel with regard to the intimacy. I miss that also. I guess in a sense it's a little easier when you're separated, because I don't have my W so close to me all the time. But I do miss that very much and every time I see her I feel incredibly attracted to her... For us, it has been just over a year now, since we last ML.

Keep going! Someone told me once that it is hard to resist unconditional love. Well, that's what you are giving your H, and that is what I am giving my W.

[mindfull]

Well, this weekend we have a soccer tournament out of town. (S11 and S9 play in it.) So, D17 is staying with a friend, and my H and I are taking the boys.

I'll leave tonight (probably) after Fri night activities and drive the boys there, as one of them has a very early game. H gets home late on Fri nights, so he'll meet us there tomorrow.

H stays home an extra night this weekend. Yea!

Update more later...



Sam... Hobbies? Well, I work from home, and love it, so that is something I truly enjoy. And, I help with the kids school (dinner auction now), as they all go to a Lutheran school. LOVE it, as many of my great friends do the same. Last night our committee had to do a "tasting" of the signature drink for the event. That was fun! And, when it's not frozen here, I walk with girlfriends in the neighborhood. Love that! So, I guess I do do enough for myself.

I'm just having a hard time trying to think of things to do different in our M/R to help this situation. It is simply not acceptable the way it is. I mean, I LOVE that we get along really well, but HATE that that's all it is right now. It's heartbreaking. Almost to the point of some kind of emotional psychosis. I feel like I could crack.

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

MB--

Quick suggestion, then I need to go get some stuff done around here. read Light His Fire. There is a also a companion one, Light Her Fire, by the same author. I got my as cassette tapes off of ebay for like $10. It is a really good series.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW

[ernest88]

I'm just having a hard time trying to think of things to do different in our M/R to help this situation.

and this IMO is why people fail....this is not a plan, it's not a game..it's not something you do to get your spouse back..this is about making you better..this is about you getting a life...

when you grasp this and live it and detach..then things with your M may just change..there is nothing you can do other than make yourself better..go back to what he feel in love with when you first met..

until then...you'll spin

[AJM]

I'm with M on this one. I also think you need some more time beyond your November episode in his mind. Give it more of the good times and good memories before you say something about it.

Until then, BOB may have to be your friend for a while. Sorry to say that but...

I'm with you though. I feel it.

One suggestion that seemed pretty good to me was to substitute something for my regular habits. For example, everytime I wanted to do something for WAS or was thinking about sex, I should do something else for me. I'm working that path and to tell the truth, it's kind of fun. You may want to consider it.

AJ