Wow just noticed today she is now separating our laundry. So i guess I doing my own laundry now. I am trying here. Still feeling better. Actually planning things with out her and taking over my life. Its hard.
Me 41 W 44 Together 7 years Married 6 Bomb Dec 2 08
leaving the bank now. Just opened a new accout. One more step to independance. Hurts like heck. But I am showing my strength talking to new people. Taking charge of my life with out her. Not sure how she is going to react but I will deal with it with my new found strength.
Me 41 W 44 Together 7 years Married 6 Bomb Dec 2 08
leaving the bank now. Just opened a new accout. One more step to independance. Hurts like heck. But I am showing my strength talking to new people. Taking charge of my life with out her. Not sure how she is going to react but I will deal with it with my new found strength.
The key is doing for you and not worrying about how she will react. Do it regardless of her reaction. That is what worked for me. When you start showing that you don't care anymore and start doing for yourself regardless of her reactions, this will get them to notice you - a change from your regular routine. Hence the term "180", do the opposite of what you used to do.
Wow just noticed today she is now separating our laundry. So i guess I doing my own laundry now. I am trying here. Still feeling better. Actually planning things with out her and taking over my life. Its hard.
I would have done that myself, another 180, separate her stuff from yours and just accept that it's being done separately and i'll tell you why that would work... you noticed it because she did it to you when normally the laundry was done together.
The master bedroom thing wasn't a good move on your part.
Take it back, change your mind, don't be the nice guy, show that your needs & wants are just as important (actually more important).
And if she doesn't like it, too bad, since when do you care what she likes? She doesn't care what you like - you're getting separated and possibly divorced - do you like that? Does she care?
and if it isn't a great job with good pay, what's keeping you there? If nothing is keeping you there, except the paycheque, have you started looking for something else? If not, why not? That's another 180 - improving your life for you.
The master bedroom thing wasn't a good move on your part.
Take it back, change your mind, don't be the nice guy, show that your needs & wants are just as important (actually more important).
And if she doesn't like it, too bad, since when do you care what she likes? She doesn't care what you like - you're getting separated and possibly divorced - do you like that? Does she care?
I am not out of the master yet. She was going to take the master when we move or after we find out if we can stay in this house.
How do I justify taking the master bedroom. She says she makes more money. which is true and if I want it, I can pay the higher amount. I cant afford that right now. Hard for me to justify it.
Me 41 W 44 Together 7 years Married 6 Bomb Dec 2 08
The master bedroom thing wasn't a good move on your part.
Take it back, change your mind, don't be the nice guy, show that your needs & wants are just as important (actually more important).
And if she doesn't like it, too bad, since when do you care what she likes? She doesn't care what you like - you're getting separated and possibly divorced - do you like that? Does she care?
I am not out of the master yet. She was going to take the master when we move or after we find out if we can stay in this house.
How do I justify taking the master bedroom. She says she makes more money. which is true and if I want it, I can pay the higher amount. I cant afford that right now. Hard for me to justify it.
Who cares if she makes more money? I don't and you shouldn't either?
Who is quitting the marriage/relationship? You or her?
If she wants to quit the relationship, she can bunk up in another room - the master bedroom is yours. Start showing to her that you have value by believing you have value - you do this by telling her you just won't accept what she dished out to you and be content with it. You take the bedroom because it's what you want - you don't care if she makes more money. She made the decision to quit the marriage, she then has to accept consequences just like you are having to accept consequences.
Taking the bedroom for yourself shows that you value yourself and what you want in life. Taking 2nd best and hand outs displays that you are glad to accept 2nd best or worst - start communicating differently (without words).
Take the master bedroom.... please!!!!
Seriously bro, 180!!!!
Start doing differently from what you were doing before - this quiet Mr.Nice Guy routine isn't working for you - it won't work for you in the future, do different now and stop reasoning why you should or shouldnt - just do it!!!!!
I went to the bank to cash in all the change we were saving for a vacation and to take the W off of my joint account. Got to the bank and the coin separating machine was broke. So I will go back. Bank told me I could not remove her and I would have to close it and open a new. The lady asked me why and I smiled and said divorce. I think she thought I was the one wanting the D. I guess that's good. I am starting to not throw out the bad vibes any more.
Told W I was closing our joint account and opening a new one in my name only. Told her I was going to take over paying the bills that she was paying out of the joint account. She did not care about me closing the account. She was more interested in knowing why now. Why all of a sudden I wanted to take over the bills when 2 weeks ago I put it off until we moved. I told her it was something I was going to do eventually any way so I figured now would be good. Besides (and I did not tell her this) She does not need or deserve to know how much I make any more. I have a base pay. But if we have a good week I could make double my base pay.
I told her that I was not going to be able to make a certain payment cause I did not have money. at first the discussion was a little rough. Then it got better. And she said she was proud how I handled the discussion. Dont think it means anything.
She did not notice the big change jar was empty. Wonder how that will play out. She gets nothing.
Me 41 W 44 Together 7 years Married 6 Bomb Dec 2 08
