Glad to hear your update but so sorry to hear how things are going. I know how hard DB gets at times. So in reading your update a few thoughts went through my mind so I wanted to share with you...
Have you read DB or DR? If you have I think you should reread it because it will help. I say this only because I have been read certain sections as well. What stricked me first was your last comment that "things will never change" and it made me think about what Michele said that if we want our marriage to change we have to change. Have you made changes in the way your interaction with your H?
From reading your update, I would say that what you did was pursue your H. And believe me, I struggle with this myself, just the other day I asked H how come he drives by the house when he is working in the area but he never goes in (he knows where the spare key is). But after I regretted saying that b/c I knew that was inviting him in. To be honest, it seems that when you called H about picking up your D you were really calling to check in with him to reestablish contact. If you really just calling about picking up D then when you left work you would have just picked up your D and not gone to look for your H. I think if I see this pursuing behavior then I know your H sees it too. Your H purposely wasn't not picking up your calls -- I think sometimes they do that to regain control of the situation and to keep us hooked. You need to stop the more of the same behavior. Stop letting him pull you in. It will hurt, but he knows he has you hooked. Remember what Michele says about making yourself look more attractive to our H's. Looking like you are still emotionally outraged (even though you are) will not do the trick. I hope this helps but please do whatever it takes to get control of your emotions and to look strong and happy.
Just a quote to share, "We can't alsways control how others treat us, but we can control how we react to others."
But we've all been where you are, emotionally that it, but we just can't stay there for too long.
