Today has been a really rough day. I opened up my laptop to check my own email, and H's facebook and email accounts were open. I was looking and found seeral e-mails from OW to H. They are all about how he promised her a family and a future, how much she loves him, etc. I found a draft that H did this morning that was angry, but he didn't send it. I also found that as little as 2 weeks ago he was writing her that he loved her. It is so hurtful to read this.
H says and acts to me that we are going to stay together and move forward. Our physical R is better and better, he says ILY many times a day. Both of us are showing appreciation to each other and doing small things for each other everyday. We are redecorating the house to allow for a family TV room and a kids play room. H tells me that he is so happy that we are a family.
How am I supposed to react to this. I don't want to say anything about finding these, because I don't want to snoop. I told H when he asked to come home that I would need to see his phone and e-mail to assure myself that everything was ok, but I have not asked for any of that. Should I? A big part of me just thinks I need to continue working on myself and allow that rest to fall in place.
I'm so scared that I am going to screw this up. H is home right now, and that is where I want him to stay. At the same time, I will not be a doormat who allows my H to run around behind my back.
