PM Thread #4

[Can it work]

PM, it sounds to me as though you are now having very healthy thoughts about your sitch. That's a really good thing and I'm really happy for you in that respect.

It's also great that you're feeling so much better about yourself with your new career and physical appearance. I know I'm losing weight and that I'm a lot fitter than I have been in a long time but I've still not reached the point that I can really look in the mirror and like what I see. Hopefully it will come over time though. I just have to lose that last bit of weight to reach my target and get a bit more toned.

I've wondered almost continuously about what it is that made my W fall out of love with me PM. Yes, there were signs. The intimacy was gone. We were communicating less and less. I guess I wasn't able to let myself believe that my M was going down the toilet. I convinced myself that it was just a minor hurdle after the birth of Wee Man. Don't all married couples go through low points? I always looked to the future though when Wee Man was a little older and we could go away as a family and enjoy our lives so much more. I looked at that as a fix. The only problem was that it never came in time to save my M. The first holiday abroad was supposed to be in July of this year. I'd convinced myself if we could hold on until then we'd manage to find our love again.

I don't know how else to describe my M. I always did what I could to give my W and Wee Man whatever I could. Not only material things. I also shaped my career around them to give them as much of my time as I could. In that I really succeeded. I work 9-5, Monday to Friday and get an hour off for lunch every day. I live close enough to my work that I can get home. On paper we were the perfect couple. Everyone thought we'd last forever. There was never any abuse, verbal or physical. It was rare for us even to argue.

All that is why I think the only reason must be that she didn't find me fun any more. I was dependable, loving, financially secure and generous. As you so rightly say men and women think very differently so I'll probably never understand her reasons.

Anyway, I'll go now. I've just had a wine supplier past for a tasting night so I'm feeling a little light headed. Take care. I'll hear from you soon.

Kev