I would no longer share anything with your wife's family members. They aren't on your side and anything you divulge to them will bite you in the butt. I wouldn't even say that you want to reconcile with your wife to them. Don't let them tell her that you are holding out hope.
I am totally in agreement with your actions. So many people get caught up in this DB pushover stuff that they recommend you act like a wuss and take it on the chin. You have ONE chance to do this right by your daughter. Don't bend over and take what she throws at you. Get as fair a settlement as you can. Assume things will not work out and be pleasantly surprised (maybe) if they do.
As far as your sons, if she doesn't care to spend time with them, and they don't want to, then I wouldn't push it. It's unlikely she has any kind of serious feelings for them or they wouldn't have been pushed to the side for OM.
Let the legal ball roll as it's going, hold your cards to your chest, and get busy enjoying your life.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
