I resonate with most of Bwhorl with a few caveats ...
<< At this point, perhaps beginning the process of divorce is the way to go. This may backfire (just like a big cannon does). Perhaps its wiser to first understand what's ailing H. None of us understand, not does K. Perhaps he or the C will come out with it shortly. So this means ... more patience and time and listening ... ugh it must be rough going in K's shoes.
<< Our spouses? Few of them have done ANY work. Few of them have even stopped to consider that part of the problems in the relationship might have belonged to them. If you talk to them its the complete opposite story: THEY have done EVERYTHING and you did not change to meet THEIR expectations. First let's remove the superlatives. Second our(their) hearts are so small that we(they) can only feel our(their)own pain. Third our(their) minds are so small that we(they) do not understand what work needs to be done even if we(they) are able and willing to do it. So we(they) must humbly seek and ask for help. Its back to work now, at least for me.
