Expose the Affair?

[2fortheroad]

Excellent points brought forward on both sides of this topic.

To expose or not?

It is a very personal choice. I have pondered it many, many times---but each time I have always decided not to expose--completely. Some friends and family do know, our kids know--but I have never "outed" them to the OWH or her family. I have no idea if the OWH knows or not. I really don't care.

Why? When I first posted---I recieved alot of advice regarding exposure and asking my H to leave in order for him to respect me.
It was good heartfelt advice, but I know that it wouldn't work for me. I believe that my H is in MLC---that he wouldn't know whether to respect me or not from one moment to the other. He is that flaky right now. I do what I do for ME---not for the marriage or for my H.

I would like my H to recommit to our R, but he will have to make that decision. I truly feel that exposure would not sway him one way or the other. I feel that exposure would only cause more pain. He needs to work this out on his own and come to his own decision. I am able to live with him, but it is on MY terms and he knows it.

Do what feels right for YOU------it takes alot of thought, and don't be surprised if you change your mind at some point. I have flip-floped repeatedly--but always came down on the same ground.

You can always decide to expose when if feels right for you, but you can't take back the exposure if it REALLY wasn't what you wanted to begin with.

2for