(((T, Lisa))) Thank you for stopping by \:\) I did get home ok thanks Lisa, I'm sorry I left early but I had an unfortunate experience with a cab driver the other day and I am now nervous about getting into the station too late!

I am trying to redefine my goals and I wondered if anyone could help me. My main goal is for h and I to meet up more regularly in a social setting rather than a business/ talking house setting. Basically to be friends!

So I have been evaluating what has worked.

- Me taking the white elephant out of the room (ow)
- Me saying that I accept he has moved on
- Me opening myself up more as a friend and telling him about family and stuff has worked, he responded by telling me about his.
- Me involving him in my life more, i.e. telling him about the cat has made him take more interest and show concern for the cat and be helpful with sorting out the insurance.
- Me making small non-pressurising gestures like the good luck text.
- Me having more confidence in myself.
- Not initiating too much and mainly just responding.
- Not having my own expectations of how I would like things to go, playing opportunities out as they arise such as going for lunch the other week instead of forcing him to spend an evening with me.

I am wondering ho to break this down into small achievable goals and what I could try. Or is the best plan to just do nothing? I suppose I am wondering if it is still too early to try experimenting yet and he needs to feel happy about the dynamic between us at the moment. The negative person in me says is it pointless to do this while he is still fogged and in a r with ow? I.e - he is not going to see me socially without guilt that he is cheating on her.

So my quandaries are
1. Do I initiate a 'lets catch up meet up' and see what happens. Bearing in mind with the issue of the split of assets and form that needs to be filled in he could just want to meet to discuss that. Would it be best to get this out of the way first before experimenting.
2. Or I could wait until the next opportunity arises with regard to him initiating bearing in mind he has a lot going on with his Grandpa and job interviews and would probably just contact me about meeting with regard to the house.
3. Or do I be a supportive friend as I know he is going through a lot of stuff and maybe reach out with some kind of gesture to let him know I am here if he wants to talk. I don't know what that gesture would be. But I am confused as I am not his 'partner' anymore as he has rejected me as that so I am confused about how I could reach out without seeming needy/ pressurising.

I think I am liking three best at the moment and then move onto option 1 after we have sorted the dividing assets stuff in which case I am stuck doing number 2 for a while possibly combining it with no 3, which may invoke no 1. Argh, it's getting complicated!

Help dear friends, I cannot see the wood for the trees! \:\)

M- May 2006
D - Aug 2010
Now travelling the world