"Fill in the blanks" was my favourite exercise when I was learning English. It was very easy for me because I would speak out the sentence and by the sound of it I knew what was right or wrong. An example : M will ..... her husband a) divorce b) wait for c) kill (Ok, doesnt work here, but you get what I mean)
When talking to my H lately I realised he leaves the sentences "open". He says things like that: "We could go eat there but if you dont want to......" "I am in therapy at the moment....." "I am not coming back for the kids ..." "I love you even though...." "I know we should spend time together..." and his voice shows there is more after his last words but he never finishes...
I used to fill in the blanks for him. As a result I found myself here. Because even though sometimes/most of the times I was right, if the outcome wasnt the desired one, the blame would go back to the one actually expressing out loud the initial "action plan". I have changed that. This is one of the things that I have managed to change completely. But since I dont do that anymore, discussions die fast and issues are left open and hanging over our heads.
Lately with H, I am LISTENING, but cant hear anything. It is a very weird situation. Very awkward. I am sitting there, facing him, looking at his face and he will not complete his sentences. Just like kids do when they are afraid what they are saying may turn out the wrong thing. In some cases, I know I making it hard for him. But, I wcouldnt possibly fill in the blanks on such major issues as his thoughts about our Marriage/Relationship/Future/Reconcilliation Efforts etc etc. Of course these are the issues he finds the most difficult to talk about.
Anyway, I have some things to say about Bill's and GFIs posts, I will, a bit later. xxx K
Morning Kalni. Still suffering with a cold or a flu. i was hoping you'd start a new thread so I'd have someone to talk to. this is the 21st century. Can't sleep? Talk to someone in Greece!
No. That's one of the few things I haven't tried. Tonight I am drinking hot tea with bourbon and I hope that will help me sleep. Sorry your journey to talk to your husband was such a disappointment.
Try the inhalers, but you may need a prescription.
It's OK, I was more amazed by his incapability to say something that would make sense than anything else... And I didnt enjoy driving through the whole city for a 10 minute talk either...
Yes, I remember Athens traffic. It is quite impressive. That was my point about if he had something to say he should come to you, or find another way to communicate it. It is the 21st century. Communication is one area of tremendous advances. Except, I guess, between husband and wife.
Well, I can understand that he actually tried to see me to SPEND time with me. At least that was what he told the C. He wanted to go for a coffee and needed a lot of time to talk about ALL the things he wanted to say. I guess, our talk on the phone the night before where I said I cant take this anymore and I am contemplating divorce as the only way out, made him change his mind about what to tell me...
Well, I can understand that he actually tried to see me to SPEND time with me. At least that was what he told the C. He wanted to go for a coffee and needed a lot of time to talk about ALL the things he wanted to say. I guess, our talk on the phone the night before where I said I cant take this anymore and I am contemplating divorce as the only way out, made him change his mind about what to tell me...
I know lots of people believe that he would have said something different, but you said what you did first, so he changed it. I don't believe that. That is similar to my husband when he used to say he would do nice things like clean the kitchen or bring me flowers, if I didn't remind him that it would be nice if he did them. I must have waited years on that one. In the 2 years since Retrouvaille he has started buying the flowers and doing nice things unasked sometimes, but it didn't happen before that. I see that as just another way to blame you for his failings.
I dont know Sara, I just dont know. I understand him, I mean, I can see he is not having a great time and can explain some of his issues, and maybe, maybe I could be more... "accommodating" so that he could at least reach out more, but I cant find it in me anymore... The only thing I am blaming myself right now, is not being able to figure out still, what would give me peace...
