I'm interested in doing it with you. I have nothing to lose. I lost alot of weight when I quit drinking and stopped eating because of my W's bomb on me. But now while still heavily depressed about it, I am eating more than I should. I was actually looking pretty good after losing the weight. It didn't matter to my W. But I at least felt better about how I looked. So I am willing to join in with you. I have a treadmill here that I need to get back on for about 50 minutes each night. Being as late as it is, I will start it tomorrow. lol.
How did your H get you back? My WAW still wants a D. She plans to file in 2 weeks. She doesn't care about my looks, money, confidence, etc. She tells me to make all those changes for me and she supports me in it, but don't do it for her, cause she is leaving. She thinks it will be great for our kids. But she has no interest.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I would like to do this, however, food is my friend I can't be a bad friend.
It is interesting to note that my W made the remark, when I was working out and showing the kind of confidence that said 'if you don't want me someone will', that she said 'never been so attracted to me'.. we still haven't been intimate and I gave up the exercise when she didn't leave.. "for now"....
Anyway, I more than Love food. Welbutren, however you spell it is a life saver. I never knew how depressed I was and it helps cut down on eating.
Ok, I've talked myself into trying again... I've got to go eat breakfast now... I'm going to walk today .. that is my resolution..
btw.. has anyone had any success with improving their looks to the point where there cold hearted and fingered W could no longer stand it and decide to seduce their H ( now that could be motivation ).
Stopping your exercise regimen "for now" right after she decided not to leave is the worst thing you can show your wife. Your showing her that she has to leave you for you to get off your a$$ and do something for your marriage. Also, you're showing her that you don't care about exercising for yourself and that you're only doing it to keep her from leaving (covert contract) - NOT GENUINE. Don't be so lame.
A man who takes care of himself FOR HIMSELF is HOT to a woman. Until you get to that point, no one is going to want to seduce you. YOU have to make the first move, or your fate will never turn itself around. Put your ego aside and dive into the right mindset before it's too late.
I love food too much, too, but exercise has become more of a real friend. Treat it like a job, punch in at X time, punch out at X time. There is never a good reason not to exercise. If you can find time to eat, you can find time to sweat.
A real marriage transcends tit-for-tat or quid pro quo. If you really love your wife for who she is, stop looking at what she is doing. Self care is her issue to deal with. Don't be on her case. It's not going to help her or you. If she feels that you are turned off by her, part of that affects her psyche and will keep her down on herself (not attractive to anyone).
You might be a great force of inspiration for her if you work out and take care of yourself. One of you has to make the first move at some point so that each of you can lift out of the depths of your dark hole together. Since you are here, you have the distinct opportunity of knowing that it can be YOU.
I can't be a bad friend.